Why Looks and Attraction Are Key in Dating

I get crushed all the time by readers for making a big deal about looks. Many have called me superficial and ask why I always have to emphasize my desire for women I’m attracted to, and I suppose it’s a fair concern. We should make room to give everyone a try, even those we initially pay no mind because we see no reason to do so.

But if anyone has been paying attention to this blog long enough, they may notice I don’t preach the importance of dating someone who turns us on to just the guys. Largely because most guys don’t have a problem dating the person who turns them on. We’re easily stimulated visually, so nine times out of 10, we’re going after the girl who makes us say, “Damn.”

Dating the One Who Catches Your Eye

It’s the women who still don’t understand where I come from when I say, ‘Date the first person who catches our eye.’ So to perhaps make my point a little bit more clear, allow me to sacrifice myself to any and all women who may think I’m not that cute or think I am a seven and it’s only because I’m funny I get an eight on a scale of 1-10. I don’t want to date any of you all, and I insist you all don’t date me.

The type of women I’ve been with fall into two camps. The first is the one who gave me a chance because I said all the right things and I made them laugh initially. Then there are the women who caught my eye because I noticed them noticing me. To say nothing of one camp over the other, it was always the girls from the latter camp who made me feel more secure.

And here’s where we start leaving comments about how I should just be more secure with myself. Well, when I’m by myself I am, but if I’m with someone else, I don’t see what’s wrong with wanting to be secure with how she feels about me. For understanding emotional and physical attraction, check this communication in relationships guide.

Confidence and Attraction

What makes any woman think a man doesn’t want to feel like a stud? Better question: What makes a woman think a man only cares about making her laugh or being the smartest guy she knows? Does she not understand that a man wants to be EVERYTHING to her and that includes the most good looking guy she lays eyes on everyday when she wakes up. Hell, he will take it even if he’s tied for first with Idris Elba. Long as he’s still in first too, that’s very important to remember.

To be clear, what I’m talking about here is not types, I’m talking about attraction. I don’t think I need to be a woman’s type to be attractive to her. I’ve talked before about the girl who dated me and said her type of guy was Blair Underwood. I look nothing like that guy, but she sure did a good job of making me feel like I did. So I knew I wasn’t her type, but I knew she was attracted to me, especially on the days when I got my haircut.

If anything, when a man says something like what I’m saying, when a man is encouraging women to go out there and date the man they find themselves staring at for an inappropriate amount of time, ‘they should feel empowered and go forth. Not just because I say so, but because that’s how I’m living my life and I must say, dating someone you’re very attracted to, someone who is beautiful in your eyes and is so fine you can watch her just sleep, it’s a pretty good feeling. It’s a pretty good feeling for me and it’s a pretty good feeling for her.

Because honestly I don’t know one woman who would want it any other way. I don’t know one woman who would feel comfortable with a man who dated her because she made him laugh and she was a beast in the kitchen, but not because of the way she looked. I’m pretty sure a woman doesn’t want to hear a man say, “Yeah, when I met you the thing I liked is you weren’t one of those real pretty girls. They’re always so stuck up. ” She would feel pretty uncomfortable from that point on. So what makes a woman think men are comfortable with the same standing? Confidence in your physical appeal is also key; learn more about enhancing it with this guide to becoming a better partner.

True Attraction

Men aren’t. I know I have never been. No matter how comfortable I am with myself, nothing will make me feel more uncomfortable than being with a woman who doesn’t see the same thing I see in the mirror when I look at myself.

The woman who loves the love handles will also probably laugh at the same jokes, so what do I gain by being with a single woman gave me a chance when we first met all because I have a sharp wit? I understand looks can grow on people and we can get better and better looking to our partners over time, but don’t we also always say looks fade? Then why would I want a girl who starts me off at a seven if I know my looks will eventually fade to a five? I’d rather start off at a 10 or a nine and then fade down to a seven.

What this all boils down to is something most women don’t fundamentally understand. Of all the things I have written on this blog, what I’m about to say next is something I want every woman to know about men, and if I have said it before than obviously I mean it now. Here it is:

The woman a man is attracted to the most, above all other women, is the woman who is into him. She is the woman who caught his eye because he caught her eye, the woman who checked him out and said with her eyes, “Come here.” The woman who was attracted to him is the woman he wants the most, and that is why I don’t want to date a woman who thinks I’m only okay looking.

Sorry, I’m just not attracted to the woman who isn’t attracted to me and ask anyone who knows me, I only date the women to whom I’m attracted.

For more on how physical attraction plays a role in relationships, see this helpful tips for a healthy relationship.